


Being in Love is not easy

by Psianabel



Category: Final Fantasy Type-0
Genre: 25 is main, 67 as side characters, Crush, Deuce doesn't know what to do, F/F, Femslash, Fluff, Kissing, Love Confessions, Romance
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-11-25
Updated: 2016-03-04
Packaged: 2018-05-03 08:45:38
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 4,933
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5284271
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Psianabel/pseuds/Psianabel
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Deuce is heavily in love with the strongest girl in class. Even though they are best friends she doesn't know how to confess her feelings - and asks her classmates for help.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. This is too much

**Author's Note:**

  * For [genjiglove](https://archiveofourown.org/users/genjiglove/gifts).



Feet tapped back and forth over the wooden parquet of the girl's room, slightly creaking with every step. Though she tried to avoid as much noise as possible at this late hour – she didn't want to wake anyone up with her constant pacing the past hour.  
  
She stopped and sighed, letting her shoulders drop with a deep exhale.  
  
_This is ridiculous._  
  
The light of her alarm clock flickered in the dimmed shine from her lamp on her night table – 11pm showed the blinking red light and the girl only rubbed her eyes at the number, not really believing that it was that late already.  
  
_Deuce, you should go to bed and think about this later..._  
  
She felt tired, yes, but too many thoughts riddled her mind that it was impossible for her to find rest. Thoughts that she shouldn't have in this times of war, thoughts that maybe turn into a huge problem if she don't sort them out quickly. Either confront them or swallow them down, hoping they would go away if she didn't wrap her mind around them all day.  
  
But the latter was harder than she thought. She could fight all day and put her body physically to its limit, carrying out missions where the only goal was success of the mission were no problem to her, but thinking about herself and her own _interpersonal_ feelings … feelings toward someone else? She had never learned that, she never had the opportunity to face them on her own, let alone deal with them.  
  
In the past weeks she tried the tactic to ignore those feelings – little butterflies in her stomach whenever _she_ was around _her_ , a heartwarming feeling insider whenever she only thought about her, hearing her laugh was music in her ears. Her clumsiness made her smile a lot and whenever _she_ asked her to play on her flute because she said it made her happy, then Deuce had to cover her face in her cape she had wrapped around her neck as a scarf in order to hide her blush.  
  
It was getting ridiculous over the past weeks the more she “accidentally” spent time around her … crush? Was that what the others call that? She had heard them term a few times around Akademeia and several times from Queen as she teased Sice and Seven about their constant chasing towards each other like “two love struck teenagers” - Queen's words, not hers.  
  
Deuce let herself fall down on her bed, face first hitting the pillow. It was unfair, those two had already everything sort out for themselves and got themselves together while she … she still had the problem to even realize she was in love.  
  
_Do I … Do I really have a crush on her?_  
  
She rolled over to her back and stared at the ceiling before she had to cover her face with her hands, because staring at the blank white ceiling only brought her images in her mind – pictures of herself together with _her_ , hands linked together as they smiled and laughed.  
  
Her heart ached at the thought. This was too much to handle right now and honestly she was exhausted from all that thinking.  
  
_I just … should sleep._  
  
Nodding to herself she stood up again and changed into her pajamas, ready to finally go to bed and hoping for some rest from her thoughts.  
  
Right before she wanted to turn off her lights there was a knock on the door. Forcefully, but not that loud, and yet Deuce almost shrieked as the sudden noise she wasn't expecting at this late hour. She rubbed her eyes again as she sat up in her bed, pondering if she should go to the door and check to see who it is.  
  
With a sigh she crawled out of the bed and slumbered to the door to open it.  
  
_...Who knocks on my door at 11pm._  
  
But as soon as the person was standing right in front of her all her sleepiness rushed through her body and was suddenly gone as if it was never there.  
  
“Cinque??”  
  
“Deuski!” Cinque yawned and held a hand in front of her mouth which was covered by the long sleeve of her pajama. “Eeh...”  
  
“Cinque, what are you doing here and why aren't you sleeping?” Deuce was standing with wide eyes _just there_ , unable to move. Because out of all people who could have been, it had to be _her_. The person who blocked her mind all the time had to appear in the middle of the night in a pajama, yawning, with a Moogle plush in the hand!  
  
Deuce could feel how her cheeks started to redden at the sight and she quickly shook her head in order to keep her thoughts down.  
  
“Cinquey can't sleep and I don't wanna bother Mother … and you are very cuddly!” The girl suddenly stepped forward and pulled Deuce in a hug – but she still just stood there. “So I want to spend the night in your bed!”  
  
She had to close her mouth to stop gaping at the whole situation, but at first she returned the hug – there was no way she would miss the opportunity, even though her heart might be burst into pieces at the feeling of her around her.  
  
To even top this whole mess in side her mind now she asked her to spend the night. Why was this such a problem now? Many times they already slept right beside each other before they even came to Akademeia. This should be nothing new, and yet it was. This was entirely new now with all these thoughts she had, with all those _feelings_ she had.  
  
She grasped tight on Cinque's back, liking the feeling of the girl close to her. She had to admit Cinque was cuddly, and her smell she had known so long …  
  
_Why not …_  
  
“Uhh … okay. Yes you can stay here. I don't mind.”  
  
“Yas!” The quirky girl let loose of the hug and gave her a sunny smile, letting Deuce's chest swell even more. “This will be super-duper awesome!”  
  
To say that this night was very awkward for Deuce was a huge understatement. Cinque might have said she couldn't sleep, but once they crawled together in the bed and shared a blanket, Cinque was out. She held tight to the Moogle plush she carried with her and curled up under the blanket close to Deuce, almost pulling her in a hug before she began to snore. As if everything was normal and nothing unusual.  
  
And Deuce? She didn't know whether to feel like the happiest girl in Orience or to be a nervous wreck. The latter definitely stood out, she wasn't prepared for any of that, not after all the hours she spent thinking about her prior to this.  
  
But as soon as Cinque fell asleep right next to her, her thumping heart wasn't aching because of her nervousness, no. Somehow she felt special to be the person Cinque thought about when she couldn't sleep, that she was the first person to go when she wasn't feeling good.  
  
Yes, they might spent a lot of time together and be considered best friends, but still … there were days where they are inseparable and made everything together. And Cinque definitely enjoyed her company, otherwise she wouldn't be here right now.  
  
Deuce sighed as she looked to her side to the sleeping Cinque. She had to hold her breath in order not to squeal at the sight. If that was a sight she could see everyday then maybe … maybe it was time to pursuit this feeling instead of swallowing it down and forget it. It made her happy to see her like this, comfortable and calm beside her, at peace.  
  
_So, this is a crush huh..._  
  
She leaned forward to her and stopped a second before she laid her lips on her forehead, closing her eyes to embrace this situation. Though she had to quickly pull back as Cinque suddenly twitched in her sleep, but it was just false alarm. Deuce exhaled with a sigh as Cinque continued to sleep, rubbing her red cheeks one last time before she turned off the light, glad that Cinque didn't comment on her cheeks like she usually did.  
  
This was such an intense situation for her, her heart was still pumping hard as she closed her eyes and shifted a bit closer to her until she could feel her breath tickling her. It was a somewhat comforting feeling and Deuce quickly found rest at this rhythmic and steady sensation.  
  
With a smile on her face she fell asleep.


	2. The next morning

Deuce never had such a good sleep for a long time.   
  
It has been weeks since she slept through the night completely. Having Cinque lying beside her was such a comforting and special feeling, even though she wished she could have shifted closer to her and wrap her arms around the strong girl. She didn't, though. That would have been too much for her own feelings right now and probably overwhelmed her a little bit too much. They might have cuddled before when they were little kids, but they were teenagers now – things changed between them and there wasn't just a normal childish friendship between them anymore.

Whenever they were alone Deuce felt a change in Cinque. Or maybe she wished it was that way, because of her crush on her. She didn't exactly know. Either way … it didn't change the fact that she didn't know how to proceed from now on, especially not after this night. Now that she was sure about her feelings she couldn't keep them down anymore.  
  
No more running away, no more hiding. She had to face them.  
  
With the sound of the birds Deuce slowly awakened, her hand twitching before the sleepiness bit by bit escaped her. As if it was instinct she reached out to her side to grab the spot beside her, letting out a confused sigh as she didn't touch what she was expecting to. There had to be something, no,  _someone_  to lie there and she was pretty sure she fell asleep with Cinque lying beside her. Actually her memories were very vivid of that event, but her hand just fell down on the mattress, touching nothing – only air.  
  
Her eyes fluttered open, blinking her half-lidded eyes a few times to get rid of the drowsiness that lingered deep. But the sight the saw right in front of her wasn't as pretty as she remembered from last night.  
  
The spot was empty.  
  
Slightly she lifted her head at the strange sight – she still expected Cinque to lie there and wake up to that sight, but seeing this emptiness now made her heart racing.   
  
Did she do something wrong for her to leave out of sudden? But that wasn't typical Cinque … or did she only dream of the events that happened yesterday? She was sleep deprived, that was sure, but that didn't mean she imagined all this.  
  
Letting her head fall back on the pillow again she groaned. All of her body was still so tired and now this uneasiness of Cinque's disappearing took place, resulting in an uncomfortable feeling which she couldn't push away. She sighed again and lifted herself up, the blanket hanging from the back of her head. With tired eyes she looked again at the spot beside her and quickly turned her eyes away from it to avoid the heart ache – the torn blanket was only an indicate that Cinque must have left already.  
  
 _...At least I didn't dream all of this._  
  
With a yawn she sat on the edge of the bed with her feet on the ground, rubbing her eyes to get away the last remnants of sleep inside her.   
  
But with that she caught a glimpse of … something on her desk. From her position she couldn't exactly figure out what it was, but she knew it was definitely not lying there yesterday. She always had her desk orderly, she took care of that every day after she finished homework. So she immediately noticed that there was something different on there.  
  
Curiously she walked over to the desk and inspected the thing, seeing a little piece of paper that was ripped off her block.   
  
“Huh, what is this.”  
  
The moment Deuce took it in the hand she could identify Cinque's handwriting on it. Seriously, the girl had such a poor and almost unreadable writing style – she could hear Kurasame's complains in her ear already – but if she focused hard on it, she could transcript it.  
  
 _Aw, she left me a note!_  
  
A smile played on her face when she focused on the words Cinque wrote, biting on her lip as she read one word after another.  
  
 _“Deuski! I'm so sooorry to leave this early, but you slept sooo tight I didn't wanna wake you. Oh yeah do you wanna see me bashing some bad guys in the arena? I will be there the whole morning to make Mother proud! Maybe we can go to lunch together later? That would be awesome!  
See ya! ~Cinque  
You look so cute when you sleep!!”_  
  
Deuce's heart was pumping hard in her chest as she read those lines. Especially the last one gave her reddened cheeks and she released the lip from biting. She took a deep breath, now relieved that nothing bad happened and Cinque just left already because she wanted to train.  
  
 _Silly you, why did I even think something like this..._  
  
The entire note gave her a little pause and she had to step back from the desk once she set the piece of paper down again.   
  
She wasn't tired anymore, in fact a nice warm settled inside her chest now which washed away the sleepiness. It radiated from there through her entire body and she was sure it was the source of her crimson cheek – she had to lay her hands on them to confirm the warmth in her and feeling that made her even more blush.  
  
The whole thing overwhelmed her so much she stared at her desk for a few seconds until she had to shook her head to get out of her thoughts.  
  
 _Get a grip, Deuce. It's not like … she asked you for a date. Just eating lunch together. This is nothing new …_  
  
Silence. Utter silence in the room, only her heart pumping that let her ears ring. She took a deep breath to calm down, closing her eyes to let the effect linger longer. And it helped, somewhat at least. Her thoughts might be a mess right now, but one thing she knew now was that this crush thing was  _real_  and hit her really hard. She couldn't go on like this anymore, not after even a little note from her gave her such a big pause.  
  
But how should she do this if she had never done this before. Now that she was actually in this situation she feared it even more now and it looked worse than before.  
  
 _Should I … should I just tell her that I like her?_  
  
Deuce tapped a finger against her cheek and turned around to her closet.  
  
 _No … I can't do that. What if she doesn't like me like that..._  
  
Still in her thoughts she gathered her uniform over her arm and searched for toiletries, checking if she got everything.  
  
There were those doubts again, riddling her mind ever since she encountered this feeling. With all her power she tried to swallow this negativity down, but they always came to the surface again no matter how hard she tried to avoid them.  
  
 _I … guess this is normal then. Or is it? I don't know!  
  
_ Sighing she scratched her head with the stuff she carried in her hand. It was no use, she had no idea. Without knowledge there was no way to solve this.  
  
 _I hop in the shower and see if I get a clear mind._  
  
She nodded to herself and tried to go on with her morning routine, hoping it would get better once she had warm water running down her skin and fresh new clothes on.


	3. The Search

Unfortunately taking a shower didn't help her much with getting her mind off this whole mess in her head. In fact not one second passed without thinking about how she should proceed from now. She pondered back and forth what she could do – heading straight to her and confront her about this was one option. Or maybe not that straight. But doing this didn't feel right at all. Not without knowing what to say to her.  
  
And so she came to her second option, and the only option she truly had left.  
  
Asking others for help.  
  
Now the problem was _who_ would be the most useful to ask, who would actually help her and can give her the answers she needed.   
  
Two people immediately came in her mind, two where she knew those went through all this already. Surely, Seven and Sice could help her with any question she had, at least Seven definitely would.  
  
These two went through all this pre-relationship mess before, they _had_ to have an idea how she should act now.  
  
Deuce was still in her thoughts when she left her dorm again after returning from the shower, taking a deep breath as she walked to Seven's room which was right in front of hers. A few seconds she just stood in front of the door before she decided to knock on it, hoping she would open and try to help her.  
  
 _Questions … what should I even ask first?_  
  
Silence.   
  
All she received was silence. Deuce knocked again a little bit louder, but there was still no reaction coming from the room.   
  
_Oh, she is not there?_  
  
Her head turned to the next door, Sice's room, and only shrugged. Maybe they were in her room instead of Seven's, that could be possible too.   
  
But even there came no answer, no matter how hard and often she knocked on the door – she didn't get an answer.  
  
Deuce sighed and hung her shoulders – she was so intent on asking them and now they weren't there. Disappointment rushed through her, but she shook her head, she wouldn't give up that easy. She wanted to find out how to confess to Cinque and if she had to search whole Akademeia for that, then be it. This was her mission now.  
  
 _I just … have to find them! They have to be somewhere._  
  
This will be a long day.  
  
With new confidence she walked across the hallway of the girls' dormitory, hearing noises coming from the little lounge that connected the hallways of the girls and boys dorm. She had to pass that anyways to reach the portal to the Main Hall if she wanted to find those two love birds, so there was no reason not to check what was going on – and actually, Deuce always was interested what others did when she got the chance.  
  
Slowly she approached the small hall and saw Jack sitting on the table in the middle, his elbows placed on his knees that hung from the table. He had a big grin on his face that almost turned in to a big laughter when a low groan came from the sofa he was turned to. Deuce stopped before she entered the lounge, inspecting the situation to know what was happening right now.  
  
 _Did Eight fall asleep on the sofa again?  
  
_ The angle didn't allow her to see who was lying there, but noticing Jack's giggle and prodding, it was clear that only Eight could be there.  
  
Another groan came from the sofa and Eight eventually lifted himself up then, covering his face with his hands when he saw Jack sitting in front of him on the table.  
  
“Jack …”  
  
“Morning, Eight! Slept well?”  
  
The tired boy only sighed and rubbed his eyes, shaking his head at the question. Without a word he stood up and stretched himself, leaving then without giving him another glance while Jack had still this big grin on his face.  
  
“Morning, Jack.” This was Deuce's chance to finally step in the situation. Jack turned to her and waved, smiling as she approached him. “Say ...”  
  
“Oh I know, Deuce. I should have brought shorty to bed instead of waking him up like that. Next time-”  
  
“Actually, that's not what I've meant.” She scratched her head. Well, she did know about Jack and Eight's little banter from time to time and she would gladly ask him about that, but today other things had a bigger priority. Today she came first.  
  
“Ah, what is it then? I'm all ears.”  
  
“Do you know where Seven and Sice are? They aren't in their room and … I really need to talk to one of them.”  
  
“Hmm.” He crossed his arms and tilted his head, humming as he recalled his memories. “No. Not really, I'm here since about 10 minutes? So they must be gone for a while.”  
  
“Oh I see. Thanks-”  
  
“But … you can ask me, too! I'm sure I can help too.”  
  
Deuce stared at him and blinked, opening her mouth to say something, but closing it again to think about it first.  
  
 _Should I really …_  
  
Jack always tried to make things better, he always did it for her since they were little children, and his bland view on the world _could_ help. Maybe. Collecting information from various people wouldn't hurt.  
  
“Um okay … so.” She took a deep breath and prepared her question. “How do … you tell someone you love them?”  
  
“Whaa-, Deuce!” Jack began to snicker, “I can't believe I missed that one! Who is the lucky one?”  
  
“Jack … ”  
  
“Oh right. Um you see …” He scratches his head again, “well, … not that I have any experience on that, not at all! But … you could just go to them, spend a very long time with them together and just say it?? I mean if you are sure about it and know the other one is sure about it, too, it should be easy right? And really-”  
  
“...” Deuce was only silent as Jack continued his easy going speech, her heart aching in her chest as he spoke about “finding the true love”. But it was getting ridiculous – she was actually in hurry to find Sice and Seven and not listen to Jack's “experiences” with love.  


“Wait, Jack.” She patted him on the shoulder as he seemed not to stop anytime soon. “I'm sorry to interrupt you … and really thanks for that information, but I have to go now.”  
  
“Oh. Ahh yeah I pulled a Trey didn't I?” He chuckled and rubbed his nose. “Anyways, I hope you will find these two. Have fun on your mission!”  
  
“Thanks!”  
  
Deuce nodded and waved him goodbye, and with that she stepped in the nearby portal, leaving Jack behind.  
  
Her thoughts about love came back at this extraordinary speech from Jack, lingering in her mind for a little while as she thought Jack's word over. Honestly, she didn't expect him to have such a wide drawn knowledge on that, but then again it was Jack. You never know what this guy really knows.  
  
 _He said … I just should go to her and blatant confess to her. But … that doesn't sound … no. I can't do this. What should I even say, what can I-_  
  
She sighed and let her shoulders drop again the moment she arrived in the little hallway where all the portals to the dormitories each class lied. It was a busy day apparently, many cadets circulated back and forth the Main Hall with books in their hands, even though the day still pretty early.  
  
 _So many people here already and it's just a bit after 9_.  
  
Deuce looked a bit left and right to see if she can make out Seven or Sice in the crowd, but there was no signs of them – white hair wasn't that common under Agito Cadets, so there were good to spot even in a huge crowd.  
  
 _Where are you two hiding?_  
  
The girl felt a little bit lost right now. Sure, she had been here for quite a while, but huge crowds were still something else, and combined with the fact that she still didn't know where the two where didn't make things any easier for her. And there were still Jack's words in her ears …  
  
“Look at that, yo.”  
  
Deuce was pulled out of her thoughts at the familiar voice – she could recognize that voice everywhere. At first she didn't even notice him when she looked around and honestly she was a bit confused the moment she heard him, but when she turned her head there he stood, arms crossed and leaning with a shoulder against a wall.  
  
“Nine?” She walked over to him, surprised to see him at this early hour. _Maybe he saw them and can tell me where they are!_ “What are you doing here?”  
  
“Hey, morning, Deuce! … Well, I.” Nine nodded to her as he greeted her, returning his focus to the distance. Deuce followed his stare, because he still didn't give her an answer.  
  
“Nine?”  
  
“Ah, I was looking there.” He nodded in the direction he was looking at and Deuce had to stand on tip-toes to see what Nine meant. “You see this group of girls there? I … ah man, I can't stop looking at them, you know.”  
  
“What?” Deuce tilted her head and squinted her eyes to make out the group Nine was talking about. She could barely see anything because of her height, even when she made herself taller, but she saw enough now to know what Nine meant. “You mean those pretty girls standing on the other side there?”  
  
“Yeah exactly them! They are always here at this hour and I don't wanna miss them, yo.”  
  
“But Nine …” Deuce tapped on her cheek, “Isn't that a bit creepy? … I mean, you usually rush straight forward and talk to them, right? Why the change?”  
  
“W-Wait, ya think it's creepy? Damn, I haven't thought about that … I just wanted to appreciate them, you know? Don't get me wrong, of course I know how to talk to a girl! … But I always get rejected, so I thought I try something new and wait before I say anything.”  
  
“Wait, huh.” Jack's exact opposite words still lingered in her, making her a bit relieved that she wasn't the only one who thought that just straight up telling the other one about their feelings wasn't the best idea. But still, staying here and watching girls from afar? That wasn't the best either. “And … what do you think what will happen if you stay here?”  
  
“Well uh, … I. Damn, now that you mention it, I don't know.” There was a small pause from him as he scratched his head. “You're right Deuce, I should do something different! … But, what should I do?”  
  
“That you have to figure out for yourself, Nine.” Deuce folded her hands together in front of her. _Now we are in the same boat huh._ “Oh, Nine? Have you seen Seven or Sice? I need to ask them something.”  
  
“Huh, yeah they came by around twenty minutes ago or something. Used the Great Portal and left, not sure where to though. Seemed kind of in a hurry.”  
  
“Oh thank you Nine!”  
  
“Sure, a-and thank you! I-I mean … I wouldn't have known that, yo.”  
  
“Always try to learn, Nine.”  
  
“Me? Learning?”  
  
They both chuckled as Deuce waved him goodbye and made her way to the Great Portal, the encounter and dialog with Nine still lingered in her mind. The waiting Nine did with the girls definitely was completely different from her situation, but it surely was an important thing to know anyways – watching someone you like from far away didn't seem to be a wonderful thing. Instead it was more painful than it was anyways. Never saying anything to the crush about your feelings wasn't an option and Deuce knew that now – hiding didn't do her good, that was for sure.   
  
Now she had the proof that her feelings were right to her, never she felt more right about that one … and yet she still didn't know what to do. No, that wasn't exactly right, with those two encounters she had she knew she had to go to Cinque, but … _how?_  
  
 _Seven, Sice where are you..._  
  
Deuce was standing right in front of the portal now, knowing that these two where somewhere in Akademeia, but searching every single exit for them would be too much time consuming – time she desperately needed before she headed to the arena to pick up Cinque and go to lunch. Her heart was beating fast now, just the thought of that made her dizzy – and her stomach grumbled with a loud noise.  
  
She jumped at the sudden bubbling in her stomach and held her hands on her stomach, feeling the turmoil inside there – and the realization hit her.  
  
Breakfast. She totally forgot breakfast. Seven and Sice must be eating breakfast right now. _  
  
_That she didn't had this idea earlier was seriously a mystery to her, because she always took care that she had a healthy breakfast in the morning, but her mind totally blocked that all out today and was full of thoughts with _her_ and how to solve this problem with confessing.  
  
 _Deuce, you really need to calm down now._  
  
Asking for help when she was a nervous wreck wasn't that of a good idea, so she took one last deep breath before she stepped in the portal and made her way to the Students Lounge.

 


End file.
